death in the beginning and death in the end

Covered by Your Love Painting by Artist Leonie.e.Brown

There was death at the beginning...

There was death at the beginning as there would be death again at its end. Though whether it was some fleeting shadow of this that passed across the girl’s dreams and woke her on that least likely of mornings, she would never know. All she knew, when she opened her eyes, was that the world was somehow altered.”
(Excerpt from The Horse Whisperer by Nicolas Evans)
Psalm 147:3 ” He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
I have been near death many times. Sometimes by the hands of others, and sometimes by my own hands. (Read more about my life story on my website I have not had an easy life and have often drowned in my own tears. Regret does not change lives. Surrendering does. This world is a battleground.

Surrender is a battle term. It implies giving up all rights to the conqueror. When an opposing army surrenders, they lay down their arms, and the winners take control from then on. Surrendering to God works the same way. It was not easy for me to do that. I was used to fighting for my life, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I was tired of fighting, tired of losing, tired of being tired. 

The Meaning of...

The coolness of the water washes over her, calming her feverish mind and heart. The beating gallop of her heart slowly stills until it becomes like a slow drip of honey. No voices are calling, no demands.

Her ears only hear the slow bubbling of the water as it pops around her. She carried no weight on her shoulders. It is forgotten behind closed eyes and quiet sighs.
She submits to the carrying weight of the water, not fighting not, clawing, but a slow surrender to the cool blue. This is a place of peace, of calm, of a quiet voice, saying: “Here I am.”

There is a plan for your Life

God has a plan for our lives, and surrendering to Him means I had to set aside my own plans. To fall back with open arms into his spirit (water), and let His spirit carry me in His embracing arms. What was dark became light. What was pain became testimony, what was self-hate became grace. 

When Art Heals

-A Testimony by an Admirer

Hi, Leonie is Carlos from Panama, after I receive your healing and beautiful mail million things happened to me in my life. A bit of frustration, more or less of studies, and a lot of inspiration.

I started to believe that with the help of God and a lot of effort I could be able to transmit positive emotions on my painting.

I tell you all this because you were the key that unlock all the colours and shapes that were locked inside me, that we’re living all in shadows.

This happened after I read the words that encouraged me to heal with my painting and with the help of God to create beautiful art that inspire others.

God has written in my life a lot of meaning and different ways to look at reality, so I discovered your art, and suddenly a lot of things started to happen.

I have been learning a lot with your courses, I am still in the Art for Dummies, but it makes me proud to know I can keep learning. I am very enthusiastic to get into the Abstract courses.

Keep painting and touching people with your art.

God bless you and inspire your life and ART.

Kind regards,
With great affection

Carlos Wittgreen
Panamá, Panama

Some of you have read some of my past blogs. Just to recap, I grew up with an intellectual alcoholic father and a very emotionally unstable and overtly strict mother. Each one of these things has its own emotional results on the development of a child.

At 14 going on 15, I met an older man. He was only 20 or 21 at that stage, but he was big and strong and I was looking for love and protection. A 5-year difference at that age is huge. He was also an abuser and a rapist.

I am not saying that I was not also to blame. I rebelled against my parents and started a relationship with this man without knowing what I was getting into.

This effected my belief in God. How can a good God allow something so bad to happen to a child?

For many years I hated God and despised any form of authority. I hated men, I hated the Church, I hated God.

I tried to find my solace in other things. I started drinking, and isolated myself. I had moments of crazy, and being the life of the party. I loved and craved attention, but did not believe that I was worth being loved.

I turned to Art to show my anger and disgust. Painting my anger did not heal my heart.

My aim to make art that not only tells my story but all our stories. To speak to the abused, the down-trodden, the hopeless, the lost, the lonely, the shamed, the orphan, the abandoned.

We are the sum total of our past…but we don’t have to stay there.

From the age of four up until my late twenties, I suffered abuse in my closest relationships. At eighteen, I went to varsity in Potchefstroom to study my life’s passion – art. As I tried to find my feet as a student/artist/young woman, themes of angst, despair, anger, and abuse filled my paintings. I won prizes this way. I won respect and admiration for my talent. But I was also reliving the suffering and continually victimizing myself, which ultimately dug the pit of hopelessness deeper.

At the age of 29 life came to a turning point, as I had come to the end of myself – I gave up on trying to build life my way. I turned to my faith (which I had rejected along the way) for help and became part of a faith-filled family which is where I met and married my wonderful and loving husband, Rob. I never looked back.

In the past, I had used my story and negative feelings as the source of my artistic inspiration.

You see, everyone can resonate with negative visual language – we all drift towards it because it is a reflection of our imperfect selves. The Bible speaks of it in this way: “Sin gives birth to sin, but Spirit gives birth to Spirit”. I became a victor instead of a victim. I saw light and wanted to speak light in my visual language.

The more I began to see what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable through my walk of faith, the more I put it into practice – both in my personal life and in my artistic practice. I realized that the dark paintings I had painted before were not inspiring the viewers to a higher calling or glorifying the Creator, nor even showing what is good and lovely.

Painting is a strange business.

J. M. W. Turner

I now see my work as contemporary Romanticism rendered in an Impressionistic style, sometimes to the point of complete Abstraction. I enjoy applying bright colors in thick, multiple layers of paint to bring out messages of hope on canvas.

Currently Reading: Traditional Oil Painting by Virgil Elliott

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